With our Fathers

courtesy of Aunt Sherrill.

Bad questions to ask Elise

I've heard these questions far too often. The true responses follow.

"Will you be graduating soon?"
No. I have no earthly idea when I'll be graduating. If you force me to tell you, it will surely be wrong. How about I'll let you know when I do, and in the meantime we can talk about something else.

"So now all you have to do is write the paper?"
No. Several interviews in which I will systematically gather data, content analysis, data transcription, data analysis, etc. precede writing my dissertation. I can't just sit down this weekend and write this "paper." It's going to take many steps over the next several months to complete this project. It can't be summarized quickly in polite conversation. So in the meantime, let's talk about something else.

"So what are you going to do after you finish?"
I don't know. If I tell you something, it's likely to be wrong. I want to do as little as possible, with my husband supporting me, but that's not good to admit! Of course, I'm sure I'll do something and like it, but I have no idea what that is. In the meantime, let's definitely talk about something else.

One thing great about meeting Steve is I learned that a person is more than what they do or the degrees they've earned. I might look better on paper, but Steve is actually much smarter and much, much more interesting. Degrees and jobs...all second to who a person REALLY is.

Academics are big on timelines and schedules for advancement. What good is adhering to a timeline or advancing if you are not happy ultimately or (especially) along the way? Not much good. Steve is a very "now" kind of guy. He is helping me to live more in the present and less in the past or future.

(I would post a picture here, but he hasn't taught me how.)

Crawfish Boil

For Bryan's 40th 37th birthday celebration, he had a crab boil.



Elise was slightly protective of her stash.

Our Itinerary

So we're going to Europe for our honeymoon. I've booked most of it so far, and this is what I have:

- 6 nights in Berlin. Elise is going there to sing with the Berlin Philharmonie.
- 4 nights in Prague.
- 2 nights in Vienna.
- 2 nights in Salzburg.
- 3 nights in Baden-Baden.
- 2 nights in Wengen, Switzerland.
- 7 nights yet to be booked in France and Belgium.
- 4 nights in a houseboat in Amsterdam.
- One last overnight at the Frankfurt airport, and then we wake up and get on a plane.


Anyone have suggestions for France or Belgium?

Another pic from Susan.

Proper thanks?

Wow. It really is an impossible task to thank everyone who had a hand in our wedding celebration. Three outstanding sets of hands are vivid in my mind:

1) Deneta Sells. She's neither a wedding coordinator or wedding director by trade. She's a pediatrician and my friend. Why I would ask a friend to work themselves to DEATH the day of the wedding, well...I wasn't thinking clearly. But she was fabulous and handled everything with grace and kindness (as is typical of Deneta). You want your baby in these hands.

2) The good people of Emory Presbyterian Church. (Lots of people have the wrong idea about church. We don't handle snakes or serve coolaid at ours.) These are a wonderful class of people parallel to friends and family, yet different from both. They made it happen--preping, ironing, cooking, cleaning, moving, setting up, taking down. Hours upon hours. All it seems they want from me is to keep working there. Very strange and wonderful kind of love; grace personified.

3) Val Woldman. Fellow high school teacher friend from Winston-Salem (now living in Florida) who physically stayed by my side from waking until picture time on the wedding day when--according to my Mom--I "shed more tears than God." A bride is a very complex creature.

In the eyes of the law

So Elise and I went down to the courthouse today to sort the legal paperwork out. Gotta love Dekalb County; they're one stop shopping!



They made us raise our right hands and swear everything on the paper was true. It didn't ask about "love" anywhere... just about our parents and to make sure we weren't related.

When I think of you...

Some random thank-yous for the wedding that I'm sure got forgotten. I will continue to add them as I think of them....

... to Crash and my man Jason, who made the dinner triangle that Deneta banged on. (Where'd that go?)
... to my man Bryan, who got up with me at the crack of dawn to labor and load in the place.
... to my man Sudesh, who stayed late and too-sober to knock out the tear-down.
... to my best man Ewan, for more things than I could count, and some of which I'm not at liberty to disclose!

... to Cormac and Mike for DJing. Very very well done.

That's all for now.

Married Life

For my first post, I figured I'd share the readings we chose for our wedding.

The first reading, selected by Steve, was written by Madeleine L'Engle in The Irrational Season.

But ultimately there comes a moment when a decision must be made. Ultimately two people who love each other must ask themselves how much they hope for as their love grows and deepens, and how much risk they are willing to take…It is indeed a fearful gamble…Because it is the nature of love to create, a marriage itself is something which has to be created, so that, together we become a new creature.

To marry is the biggest risk in human relations that a person can take…If we commit ourselves to one person for life this is not, as many people think, a rejection of freedom; rather it demands the courage to move into all the risks of freedom, and the risk of love which is permanent; into that love which is not possession, but participation…It takes a lifetime to learn another person…When love is not possession, but participation, then it is part of that co-creation which is our human calling, and which implies such risk that it is often rejected.

I chose words of Rumi, the 13th Century Sufi Mystic.

“But, listen to me for one moment, quit being sad. Hear blessings dropping their blossoms around you. Be melting snow, wash yourself of yourself. Dry your eyes, look again at love with love."

"The way you make love is the way God will be with you.”

“May these nuptials be blessed for us,
may this marriage be blessed for us,
May it be ever like milk and sugar,
this marriage like wine and halvah.
May this marriage be blessed with leaves and fruits like the date tree;
May this marriage be laughing forever, today, tomorrow,
like the hours of paradise.
May this marriage be the sign of compassion
and the approval of happiness here and hereafter;
May this marriage be fair of fame, fair of face
and fair of omen as the moon in the azure sky.
I have fallen silent…
for words cannot describe how the spirit has mingled with this marriage.”

So on we go into married life. The sun has shone on us for 4 straight days, with many more to come...

Elise

Now this is rustic accomodations.

... but at least we've got wifi.

We're coming back to Atlanta tomorrow from Gorham's Bluff, AL where we've been cooling our heels the past few days. Elise has slept for more than half of it; she really pushed herself to the complete max for this event. I've been puttering around on the computer, playing my 12-string, rubbing Jilly's belly, and cooking meals. It's been rejuvenating.

The first moments